im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
A bitchslap is in order.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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