if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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