we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
