So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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