you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
