just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
