she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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