I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
