i think i have herpe
just one?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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