you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
