either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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