No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
