Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
