just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
