Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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