It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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