Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
