One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
someone owes me an orgasm
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
