I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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