The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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