can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
