Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
