Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
