the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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