I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Randomize
