You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
