I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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