Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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