You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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