Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
