they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So squirting runs in the family.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
