you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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