good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
