if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
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