I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
