Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
