Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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