My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
