They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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