quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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