I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
