that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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