i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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