the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
