If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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