I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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