Yo dont text me then not text me
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
