Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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