If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
