If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
