If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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